How an essay titled “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley helped shift my perspective after learning my son would be born with Down syndrome and CHD.
Welcome to Holland Essay
When I first started researching Down syndrome and connecting with other moms who had experienced a prenatal diagnosis, an essay called “Welcome to Holland” kept popping up in blog posts and articles. I didn’t pay much attention to it at first but after seeing it repeatedly mentioned or referenced, I gave it a read.
Honestly, I didn’t really “get it” until after Baker was born. It’s a story likening having a child with special needs to planning an amazing vacation to beautiful Italy only to wind up in Holland, a gray and dirty place. Instead of things going to plan and realizing your dream, you have adapt and find beauty in the unexpected.
Mourn the loss of what you thought your life would look like and form new dreams in its place. Once you start to do that, you realize “Holland” is a magical place with beautiful things like tulips and windmills and Rembrandts.
We have our own little personal tour guide in Baker. I’ve mentioned he’s amazing, right?He’s shown us (and will continue to show us throughout his life) that Holland is not a scary place. Different than what we had imagined, sure, but not at all scary.
It has become our job as his parents to show others that while there are a lot of unknowns that can come with a Down syndrome diagnosis and it can feel really, really scary, it’s quite the opposite.
I didn’t know or realize this until he was born. I was scared, nervous and anxious up until the moment I saw him. My fears dissolved, my nerves disappeared and the anxiousness I was feeling was replaced by an all-consuming love that I’ve felt for each of my children and we’ve embraced Holland every day since Baker joined our family.
And I gotta say, with these three cuties on board, I’m looking forward to the rest of our “trip.” 🙂
One of the bloggers I follow recently chatted with the author of “Welcome to Holland” and it was so interesting to read about the background and her experience in raising a child with Down syndrome. Read the interview here!
